A Poetry Repair Shop
VERB: reveal something secret (or seriously inquisitive) or confidential by talking impulsively or carelessly.

*Nu: 01.30.15

words weighted down by deep missing
lightness restricted by darkness
upbeat brought down by the weight
is weightless actually, and a loss
let it want to middle out, allow it
not quite hopeless staying in the middle
they are hard to get to, those words
that will show the weight of loneliness
empty is one word and a sadness creeping in
I've spent serious country living alone
being there for long periods of time a miracle
and I've lived in the miracle of another
now I sometimes don't recognize myself
I've slipped off center, not so far off
to lose myself altogether, yet cautious
aware of the dangers in the way

to be cont.
- gary
01.25.15 - the ol’ 9pm - - Rain - heavy mist
Sure am glad another day and night went by


numbers letters grunts slippery eye glances
and what any combination of those above words
do to the easiness of the path of word placement
outside the numbers grunts and so forth there is that
one place that is nowhere which brings up something told me 
many years ago by a friend Paul, now gone; We were discussing
my family moving with him and Paula, a decades long dear friend
and two other couples Up North, and we were already in Oregon.
I asked him to tell me just one thing about this land and area
that would be his chosen reason for moving there,
this was after some great visuals and hours long descriptions of the land.

He told me:
“It's on the way to nowhere.”

So, that was the seed, planted nourished with growth tendrils
heading home, now the many years later me's getting tired by default,
the key to all locks; aging. Aging, if you are doing that,
and wanting to look at it of course, is a good study in and for life 
there is no other to make the decision, no one else,
the seed sprouts, plays its role, becomes its character, changes
passes in to death... which a better word for this event would please me.

- gary schooley

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January 23rd 2015 - Okay, 01.24.15 & 01.26.15 & 2.10.15 -
That's now. ...this has go, go somewhere, or ramble for no reason...
to no one hollered or whispered
this is where my minds sees it being
in the repair shop for deeper analysis

Time is a Factor
or:Time as a Factor

in where you go to where you went
to where you came from where you are going
here and there a dance it sways to and fro
a lot can happen during a time factor
one way or another everything happens
to one degree to another all things happen
yes of course this is a given we know
yet we follow the messenger
how fast can he or she be to cause me to lose
the thread, the
point not a factor,
but the
Lost thread factor...?

slide away from intrusions entering the mind
speaking foreign language confusing riddles
posing as reality built upon words written by men
and when you factor in the actions of men
the mind needs more information even though
it knows everything that it needs to know
mind gets stimulated with this nonsense,
confusing itself with pseudo intellectual
enough words thrown out there to confuse
or ridicule, seems I'll be able to get something
down in writing here tonight

- gary

more... not now... to be cont...
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*Okay, 01.23.15 - 10:30 p.m. past my bed time, early yes, but at my age late - just throwing down a few words to get my mind in the being stage - maybe even understand what I am saying, not aloud, but the main word is Tired, tired of body and mind a common time factor for me

The set: Bed, lights low, quiet, been lying here for hours unable to sleep due to too many factors no need to bring in mind stirs and much of this will make little sense but bear with this minds workings for a bit longer.

Okay, awake, groggy agreed upon, but, something, something needs to happen to be said - maybe some music ...Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here w/Shine on You Crazy Diamond ... drag myself up to a sitting position pillows behind me

tired, I first noticed it when I was around mid-sixty, the age factor, oh yeah, and what does it mean beside life's movements mobility excitement level diminishes, and I get to improve my spelling. It is tough. Hey, I was a 'Mountain Man' for some years in Oregon and Washington in with the elements blended in the simplicity of this way of life the elemental factor something natural normal how else could it be - The Floyd sounds nice fit - me as I have a slight buzz on which does not decrease my exhaustion level. 'Going on' - This phrase has so many meanings -

Going on yes going on I was fit I 'Knew' that I'd be around at one hundred I saw it I dreamed it I was it now things change times change and the factors involved change grow learn give open love acceptance all things all levels of being hearts opening miles wide
and oceans deep the heart love factor changes going on yes

I'm in it, aging, late in the process, can't sleep but have the Tool Box handy for those late night early morning openings what I'm trying to say is this me this person this human being is encountering difficulties in his life which, ‘I’ ‘he’ never knew, to-be-aging and this has to be accompanied by hearty
LAUGHTER by both ‘I’ & ‘him’.

Note that I remain off subject forever always mostly
it is where I live the subject is a personal matter
not that that matters because this is the leading
to the subject which is my asking myself why are you not
seriously looking for the kind of assistance you need
that blends with you have to offer?

ehhauxted - but - 11pm Floyd - and writing nothing that will open any doors into the inner sanctum, mac - off - a light-weight 13" MacBook Retina does it all light small easy on this wearing out body no no no I am not feeling sorry for myself quite the contrary life is good nothing beats it.

01.23.15 4 p.m.

Okay, so, another early evening
just read two interviews in Rolling Stone
Nicki Minaj and Marilyn Manson and like them both
never heard their music and may never hear it
there is not enough time to fit the world in too
looking at possibilities priorities insights ideas
get my ship in order prepare for strange lands
the outside has almost been full taken up leaving
the inside the way to go & many ways point the way
signs words sensations shivers a knowing

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